The Waver in the Window
Each morning as I head out the front door, my littlest girl, 10-year-old Jessie, always says, " 'Bye, Dad! I'm gonna wave!"
And as I pull away, I pause in the street to see her little hands and arms motioning lovingly from our living room window. I wait long enough to blow her kisses and wave back as I drive off. I consciously take a mental picture to capture the moment. I realize this daily ritual between Jessie and me will not go on forever.
It wasn't too long ago that there were two full-time wavers in the window. And a seeming moment before, there were three. Eventually a time fast approaching I won't pause in the street and blow kisses, because the window will be empty.
At age 40, I'm grateful for many things. Perhaps most of all, I'm grateful for the awareness and perspective God has given my wife and me about the preciousness of life and the brevity of time. These days it's easy for us distracted dads and maxed-out moms to get so caught up in our busy lives that the little things that represent huge blessings can go unnoticed.
Consciously seeing
From early in our marriage, we both knew that the children we were bringing into the world were miraculously a gift from God. We knew they were ours, not to keep, but to steward as one of God's greatest wonders and highest priorities. We knew that we would have this marvelous opportunity only for a season and that it would be here and gone in the snap of our fingers.
Today, with Kristopher at age 17, Alicia a year younger and "little" Jessie in double digits, we're thankful for the choices we've made many of them difficult: to bypass many of the material goods of this world for the blessing of time spent building deep relationships with these special ones.
The jobs have come and gone, the hopes have risen and fallen, and the path behind us is sprinkled with successes and failures. But mostly, there are a lot of great memories. Some are captured in photos, but many more are etched only in the scrapbook of our hearts as constant reminders of this rapidly passing time that we have together as a family.
The last ...
I don't know precisely when it occurred, but one day, without any ceremony, there was the last time I gave my two oldest kids a bath. And they weigh too much now, but there also must have been that one last throw-them-on-the-bed-before-bedtime moment. Although I'm not lamenting its passing, there was certainly a last diaper change. And boy, cleaning out the garage became an emotional time of letting go of those baby clothes each one a vivid memory of a little girl in a Christmas dress or little boy in a nifty pair of tiny blue sandals.
I enjoyed the whole time okay, most of it I spent teaching my son how to drive, and we have "guy things" that we do away from the ladies of the house, like catching the latest sci-fi movie. Yet wasn't it just a few days ago when I was going down the slide with 2-year-old Kristopher in my lap?
Still, people ask: "Isn't quality time better than quantity time?" Not even close. It is the little moments, the unplanned, cute things they say or do, that weaves our kids' lives into the fabric of our own. A few good minutes a week doesn't take the place of watching them discover a butterfly or hearing them r-e-a-d-i-n-g a book for the first time.
Time is the key
For kids to learn to honor people over things, love over performance and eternal over temporal, you must spend time lots of it together. It's not just to enjoy their younger years, but so they can see your lives in action. This closeness and sharing of our lives communicates love, acceptance, encouragement and vision that cannot be achieved in any other way.
It still makes my day when Alicia's message is the first greeting I get when I reach the office. Checking my voice mail, I hear, "Good morning, Dad. Just wanted to say I hope you have a great day! I love you, Dad." But I am constantly aware that her loving, young voice on the phone is not forever, either.
While I have made my family a top priority, I, too, missed moments early on I'd give anything to have back. I'm thankful that they have not been too many and that God has shown me how to make necessary adjustments. Every day provides new opportunities for me to create a memory with my kids, even now.
If you have young kids at home, or even some who are older, there's still time to realize and savor the treasure that they are. Starting now, seize each day and appreciate each fleeting, precious moment. Meanwhile, I'll pause in the street, blow kisses, wave, count my blessings and count down the time remaining to enjoy my last little waver in the window.
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