Embracing the Real You

Dieting first-grade girls eat paper to suppress their appetites. Teen boys swallow laxatives to hit an ideal athletic weight while other boys shoot up steroids to gain ripped pecs and biceps. College women consume only protein drinks, then vomit if they still feel fat. Middle-aged men opt for hair plugs to counteract baldness while their wives go under the knife to fix wrinkles, sags and cellulite.

While many Americans obsess about their less-than-perfect bodies, countless others fret over their intelligence, ethnicity or economic status.

Maybe you struggle with accepting parts of yourself, too.

Maybe you try to hide the real you because you fear people will not accept you for some physical imperfection or emotional scar.

Or maybe you cover up your embarrassing experiences like divorce, bankruptcy or incarceration.

Measuring up is an ever-present challenge. Practically every day you're lured into thinking that something is wrong with you if you don't sport a tanned and sculpted physique or smile with ultra-white bleached teeth. Or you're really an outsider if you don't have a college degree or vacation abroad. The list goes on in matching yourself against others.

Unfortunately, comparisons bludgeon your self-image and belittle the Creator's unique design for your life. Doubting your own abilities and value is woven into your DNA thanks to your early ancestors, Adam and Eve. Their greedy munching on the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden introduced imperfection into the world. Since that day, all humans wrestle with how God and others see themselves.

Many Biblical characters grappled with their self-image. Moses degraded his abilities before God. " €¦'I'm not very good with words. I never have been, and I'm not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.'" (Exodus 4:10, NLT). Even gorgeous Queen Esther lived a double life, keeping her Jewish nationality and family background a national secret.

You have a bit of Moses and Esther in you. At times your inner judge focuses on your shortcomings and limits you from enjoying your true self. ("I'm too fat €¦ I'll never make a decent salary €¦I don't make friends easily €¦I have a crooked nose €¦") Yet God describes this self that you disparage as "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalms 139:14).

So how can you draw attention to the first-rate version of yourself?

Listen up. Tune into the messages hurled at you every day by the media, models, music and anyone and anything including yourself that make you doubt your God-given uniqueness. Eavesdrop on your own negative self-talk ("I can't do that €¦I'm not smart enough €¦I look terrible €¦I just don't fit in.")

Wise up. Once you start to pick out these negative messages, start discerning the truth from falsehoods. Many advertising ploys and your own distorted self-talk attack your significance and measure you against some phantom ideal. Some television commercials and magazine ads effectively communicate that you are not attractive or popular until you wear designer clothes, drive a cool car or start a low-carb diet.

There's no need to feel like you're an outcast. Take a deep breath. Your Creator is eager to help you understand the truth about your self-image. He says you are made in his likeness and you are precious and honored in his sight. He loves who you are so much that gave up his life for you (Romans 5:8).

God also promises in John 16:13 that €¦" when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come."

Lighten up. Perhaps you worry too much about how you look and what others think. The comparisons blues erode your contentment and your confidence. The apostle Paul advises us in to "take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else" (Galatians 6:4, NIV).

This is easier said than done unless you appreciate your own God-crafted value and beauty. Instead of pitting your thinning hair against your neighbor's thickening waist, dwell on how the Creator views you and what he says is true of you. Ecclesiastes 3:11 declares, "He has made everything beautiful in its time." That includes you!

This "don't-worry-be-happy" attitude is not always easy to attain. But here are some suggestions to help you embrace your whole self.

  • Talk to your doctor about a healthy weight for your frame if your body image leaves you avoiding your full-length mirror.
  • Speak to a wardrobe consultant about what clothes bring out your most beautiful features.
  • Enlist friends as your eating, exercise and fashion encouragers.
  • Keep a daily diary of your diet and your emotions to help you identify overeating triggers.
  • Surround yourself with healthy relationships. Wise and well-grounded relationships can help you enhance your greatest strengths and skills. There's nothing like a morale booster from people who know you well and want to see you living your best life.
  • Invite God to give you a joyful satisfaction about your one-of-a-kind self. He can help steer your thoughts to see the positive.

Day by day as you adjust your perspective about who you are and the unique contribution you make in the world, others will notice. Together you can laugh at the outrageous advertising and revel in celebrating the real you!

Background Information

Questions and Answers

Stories

If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.
Share Your Story

Other Things to Consider

Transitions: Changing Jobs, Moving

Relationships: Communication Gaps

Parenting Teens: Communication Problems