talking about sex
Question and Answer
I really want my daughter to enjoy the Valentine season, but how can I help her see past the worldly exploitation of romance?
Valentine's Day can provide a healthy way for us to express affection for others in our lives. However, given the sad reality that almost every holiday is exploited and hyped to make money (in this case, heart-shaped boxes of candy, cards and flowers), there are several things you may want to do to help her see beyond all of the glitter and gain a godly perspective on love: Investigate the true identity of Saint Valentine. Why was this holiday originally celebrated? What should that mean to us?
- List the characteristics that distinguish true love from infatuation. Place the lists side by side and have your daughter decide which one she really wants for her life.
- Ask her for evidence that tells her that people really love each other — including specific examples from relationships she respects. Ask what makes her feel this way.
- Help her take a critical look at television, music, even greeting cards. Are they promoting infatuation or real love, shallow feelings or genuine intimacy, mere physical chemistry or a deep, selfless commitment to a relationship?
This holiday provides a great time to help teens address the bigger issues of love and choosing a life partner. Emotions and chemistry aren't inherently wrong (who wants a passionless marriage without any spark?), but if romance is only emotional infatuation, it's not "true love." Flowers, cards and chocolates are fine expressions of affection. But remind your daughter not to wager her heart on them. True love was created and defined by God — not Cupid.
Background Information
Having "The Talk"
It might be awkward, but it's a parent's place to talk about sex.
How Much is Too Much?
Here are age-appropriate guidelines for teaching kids about sex.
Questions and Answers
When do children begin to develop a sexual nature?
Answer
I would like to teach my own child about human sexuality, but I'm not sure I know how to go about it. When do I say what?
Answer
In a culture where dating and sex often blend together, where do I tell my son to "draw the line" physically?
Answer
Is sexual experimentation normal? What should I do if I catch my child acting out with another child?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
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Other Things to Consider
When It Comes to Sex, Character Counts
Teaching character can make a difference in your child's future sex life.
Related Topics
Transitions: Having a Baby, Preparing for Adolescence
Life Pressures: Working Moms, Stay-At-Home Moms, Time for Family
Relationships: Parents and Adult Children, Blended Families
