crisis pregnancy

Breaking the Cycle

How can an addictive process be broken once it has begun? This is not easy, but it is possible. Here are some suggestions:

The addict should try to identify whether the addiction is maintained by the drive of excitement seeking, tension reduction, or both. The greater his or her understanding of the dynamics of the addiction, the greater his or her ability to overcome it.

Addicts that are predominantly excitement seekers should concentrate on being content with the "ordinary" and developing an appetite for satisfaction rather than stimulation. Thrill-seeking addicts need to learn how to be content with ordinary activities and increase their appreciation for the "little" joys of life. Overstimulation creates satiation. Therefore, overcoming an excitement-seeking addiction involves learning how to live with less arousal and allowing your body and mind to become accustomed to lowered arousal.

Tension reducers need to focus on identifying their painful emotions more accurately and understanding how these emotions lead to the addictive behaviors. The goal here is to teach oneself how to confront pain head-on, with full engagement of reality. In addition, because denial is such a powerful force, addicts need to increase their awareness of their denial tendencies, undoing their tendency to misinterpret, confuse the issue or split off their feelings from reality. Ask a close friend or spouse to give honest feedback, for instance. Or build a small support group of trusted friends with whom you can share your tensions.

Addicts should pay attention to the trigger mechanisms that serve as stimulants to an addictive cycle. Knowing the kind of circumstances that tend to "kick off" addictive behavior means that the addict can either avoid the trigger or formulate a plan for keeping the trigger from "working."

Addicts need to find alternative ways of responding to their trigger mechanisms. This means learning to deal with need in a more wholesome way. For instance, if boredom is a trigger, the addict needs to learn some way of handling boredom without resorting to the addictive behavior. If the trigger is depression, the addict must seek help in discovering the underlying cause of the depression and overcoming it. Suppressing depression is never a cure — it only prolongs the depression.

Parents need to recognize how to avoid raising addiction-prone children. We know that children of alcoholics might become alcoholics partly because they were raised with their parents modeling addictive behavior to them. The same is true for the children of workaholics, shopaholics, compulsive gamblers, and other process addicts. Children learn what they see, and therefore many hidden addictions are passed on from generation to generation with little thought to how this cycle might be stopped.

Because most addictions arise out of the pleasure/pain axis of life (giving rise to either excitement-seeking or tension-reducing addictions), parents can play a key role in shaping a healthy approach to life. Teaching children how not to be so stimulation — or excitement — bound is not difficult. All it takes is a little forethought, some patience and a lot of personal example.

Last, addicts must seek spiritual and psychological healing. An addiction is a very complex learned response involving the whole person — mind, body, and spirit. The longer one has been controlled by it, the deeper it is entrenched. Lots of hard work is needed to undo these complex connections of thought, nerve, and hormone. I believe that God's intervention is needed as well, whether He works through a direct miracle (I have seen this happen) or through a more natural healing process.

Background Information

Behind the Scenes of a Teen Pregnancy
A look at the thoughts and feelings she — and you — are going through.

Abortion Risks
While abortion seems like a "quick fix" for a long-term problem, it is a permanent decision that carries physical, emotional and spiritual risks.

Deciding About Adoption
When considering adoption as an alterative to raising your baby, these answers may dispel adoption myths.

Questions and Answers

Why do I feel like this pregnancy has pulled me in so many different directions? I feel so overwhelmed with all the ramifications of this decision I must make. How can I sort it all out?
Answer

My pregnant daughter has her whole life still ahead of her. Would it be better for her to place her baby with a family through adoption, parent her baby or have an abortion?
Answer

Review Frequently Asked Questions

Stories

Things Seen and Unseen
A woman in a white coat walked into the room and flipped on the fluorescent lights, jarring my wife awake. The jarring was just beginning.

Left to Suffer
Abortion can leave a woman feeling more empty and alone than she ever dreamed possible.

Life is Sacred
Sometimes the choices we make bring pain. Thankfully, one woman turned to God for healing.

Taboo Grief: Men and Abortion
It's not something most men talk about, but the ones who've lost a child to abortion bear many scars.

If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.
Share Your Story

Other Things to Consider

Faith Helps
God may be the only person who understands what you're going through.

What the Choice is All About
For a long time it baffled me. I could never understand why anyone would want to be pro-choice. But this past week I finally got it.

RelationshipsBlended Families, Parents and Adult Children

TransitionsPreparing for Adolescence, Empty Nest