depression and suicide

Question and Answer

I didn't realize the importance of moving at a time that's good for my teen. Now it's too late. I have a 14-year-old who is depressed, angry and will only talk about our old home. Her grades are beginning to slide. Now what?

Besides anger and discouragement, a teen may fail to engage successfully in a new location. A tailspin often begins that pulls down grades, selection of friends, and the emotional environment at home. The trials faced by a teen under these circumstances are remarkable. They require building a new life while grieving the loss of the old one.

First, try to understand how difficult it is to be the "new kid in town." Picture this: Your 14-year-old spends her whole life in the same town, has great grades, is respected by her friends, and has built a good reputation at church and school. She moves to a new city and her parents expect a repeat performance. But in the new school, she has no identity. She's the new kid. No reputation precedes her. For the first time, she must rebuild her life from the ground up in the face of potential resistance from peers. Your help is imperative if she is to avoid getting stuck in discouragement. Without that support, she will likely follow the path of least resistance to acceptance, possibly leading to a very negative lifestyle.

Second, determine ways to maintain old friendships via long distance phone calls, e-mail or visits while still attempting to build a new life and new friends. Both can occur simultaneously. Determine what your child will embrace in the new town (a sports team or youth group), and how you will support her need to keep in touch with old friends (a long distance phone allowance, etc.).

Finally, talk about your own pain or sadness as a result of leaving your old life behind. Invite your teen to express sadness and grief. Rather than fuel discouragement and dissension, those shared feelings—and even tears—can strengthen the family as you embark on this adventure together.

Background Information

Risks and Signs of Suicidal Behavior
Suicide is common in the adolescent years. Knowing what to look for is the best prevention.

Depression and Suicide
Teens suffering with depression need to be assessed for their risk of suicide. Pay particular attention to these risk factors.

The Symptoms of Depression
Most people associate depression with a feeling of gloom or sadness, but there is a much more important set of symptoms to keep in mind.

Understanding Depression
Depression afflicts everyone at some point. Knowing what to expect can make it easier to address.

Moods and Worldviews
Suicide is more likely where mood disorders and modern belief systems abound.

Questions and Answers

Review Frequently Asked Questions

Stories

You Never Get All the Answers
A couple touched by suicide shares their walk through grief.

If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.
Share Your Story

Other Things to Consider

Spend It Any Way You Like
Sometimes, the meaning of life is found in the most surprising places.

RelationshipsBlended Families, Parents and Adult Children

TransitionsPreparing for Adolescence, Empty Nest