Question and Answer
If you were a parent and knew that your son or daughter was thinking about engaging in sexual intercourse, wouldn't you talk to them about condom usage? If our kids are going to have sex anyway, shouldn't we make sure they are properly protected?
I would not, because that approach has an unintended consequence. By recommending condom usage to teenagers, we inevitably convey five dangerous ideas: (1) that "safe sex" is achievable; (2) that everybody is doing it; (3) that responsible adults expect them to do it; (4) that it's a good thing; and (5) that their peers know they know these things, breeding promiscuity. Those are very destructive messages to give our kids.
Furthermore, Planned Parenthood's own data shows that the number one reason teenagers engage in intercourse is peer pressure!1 Therefore, anything we do to imply that "everybody is doing it" results in more not fewer teens who give the game a try. What I'm saying is that our condom-distribution programs do not reduce the number of kids exposed to the disease they radically increase it!
Since the Planned Parenthood-type programs began in 1970, unwed pregnancies have increased 87 percent among 15 to 19-year-olds.2 Likewise, abortions among teens rose 67 percent;3 unwed births went up 83.8 percent.4 And venereal disease has infected a generation of young people. The statistics speak for themselves.
And consider this: Research indicates that where disease prevention is concerned, the failure rate of condoms is incredibly high, perhaps 50 percent or greater.5 Condoms also fail to protect against some STDs that are transmitted from areas not covered (the base of the male genitalia, for example). After 25 years of teaching safe-sex ideology, and more than 2 billion federal dollars invested in selling this notion, we have a medical disaster on our hands. More than 500,000 cases of herpes occur annually,6 and the number of reported cases of chlamydia has risen 281 percent since 1987. Forty-six percent of chlamydia cases occur in teenage girls ages 15 to 19.7 In addition, there are now over 24 million cases of HPV (human papilloma virus) in the United States, with a higher prevalence among teens.8 Having acknowledged these problems, why in the world would I recommend this so-called solution to my son or daughter? Look at it this way. Suppose my kids were sky divers whose parachutes had been demonstrated to fail 50 percent of the time. Would I suggest that they simply buckle the chutes tighter? Certainly not. I would say, "Please don't jump. Your life is at stake!" How could I, as a loving father, do less?
I should add that, despite the popular myth to the contrary, teens can understand, accept and implement the abstinence message. It's not true that young people are sexual robots, hopelessly incapable of controlling their own behavior. As a matter of fact, almost 50 percent of all high school students are virgins today,9 even though hardly anybody has told them it is a good thing. These kids desperately need to be affirmed in their decision and held up as positive examples for others. None of this will be accomplished by pushing condoms.
But there is another reason for talking to teens about abstinence rather than "safe sex." It is even more important than the life-and-death issue cited above. I'm referring, of course, to the Creator's design, God's expressed will for human sexuality. "Protected promiscuity" has no part in that plan. Sex within the context for which it was intended lifelong, monogamous marriage is always safe. This is the message our kids need to hear from the earliest days of childhood! Anything less is worse than third-rate!
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Relationships: Blended Families, Parents and Adult Children
Transitions: Preparing for Adolescence, Empty Nest
