caring for elderly parents

Question and Answer

How can we show concern and respect for the elderly?

Many years ago, I saw a documentary television program that I never forgot. It focused on the life of an elderly woman named Elizabeth Holt Hartford who lived alone in a Los Angeles slum. These were her parting words which were aired on video tape after her death a few weeks later.

"You see me as an old lady who's all broken down with age. But what you don't understand is that this is me in here. I'm trapped in a body that no longer serves me. It hurts and it's wrinkled and diseased. But I haven't changed. I'm still the person I used to be when this body was young."

Those who are younger may find it difficult to appreciate Mrs. Hartford's words. She was speaking of the "Unwanted Generation," and what it is like to be aged in a time dominated by the very young; to be unable to see or hear well enough; to have an active mind that is hopelessly trapped in an inactive body; to be dependent on busy children; to be virtually sexless, emotionally and physically, in an eroticized society; to be unable to produce or contribute anything really worthwhile; to have no one who even remembers your younger days.

A gastroenterologist once told me that 80 percent of his older patients have physical symptoms caused by emotional problems. Despair is quickly translated into bodily disorders. Obviously, self-worth is essential to well-being at all ages. Let's extend our love and respect to those such as Elizabeth Holt Hartford who have passed their prime.

Background Information

Hospice: Offering Quality of Life to the End of Life
Approximately 30 years ago, a U.S. volunteer movement began that would revolutionize health care.

Advance Medical Directives
This comparison between Living Wills versus Durable Power of Attorney can help you make informed health care decisions for your aging parent.

Aging or Alzheimer's
Regular signs of growing older often get paralleled with Alzheimer's. Find out the difference.

Caregiving Support Systems
Providing for an aging parent can be stressful. It's important to be surrounded by others who can help.

Help From Hospice
For terminally ill patients, hospice is often a welcomed care option.

Questions and Answers

Review Frequently Asked Questions

Stories

Making My Mother's End-of-Life Decision
If Mom lived, would she want to be a "vegetable" the rest of her life? What if she never came out of her coma? What would she want us to end her life?

Full Circle
From child to parent, one woman reflects on caring for her mother.

The Long Goodbye
A daughter faces the harsh reality of her mother's Alzheimer's disease and the difficulty of loving the stranger her mother has become.

You Can Go Home Again
As parents reach their later years, many children feel the tug to move closer to them.

If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.
Share Your Story

Other Things to Consider

Loneliness and Depression Afflicting the Elderly
If you know an elderly person who you suspect is clinically depressed, don't brush it off. Do whatever is necessary to get them the help they need.

If I End Up Like Terri: An Open Letter to My Wife
Teri Schiavo's tragic death made many people think. One man reflected on his future with his wife

Where is God in the Midst of All My Troubles?
So many cry out to Him in times of need, but is God really listening? And, more important, does He care?

Love & SexDating, Living Together

TransitionsGetting Married

Abuse & AddictionsPornography and Cybersex, Physical and Verbal Abuse