moving

Question and Answer

What can we do to make our upcoming move easier on our two teenagers?

People respond differently to being uprooted. Here are some ideas that may help make the transition more manageable:

  • Allow for grieving, sadness, some whining, anxiety and disappointment. It's a normal reaction to relocation. Don't fight it.
  • A few especially close friendships can be nurtured long distance, and may help to ease the pain of moving away. Still, try to say "goodbye" to the old and make room for the new, bringing closure to the majority of commitments and relationships.
  • Make the move itself memorable. Visit someplace special en route, or purchase something your teens can't wait to use once they arrive at their new home.
  • Don't pressure the "new" to replace the "old." Allow a fresh routine to develop on its own in your new home. At the same time, continue important family traditions. A degree of consistency can provide comfort in the midst of radical change.
  • Let your teens' school counselors know about the move, where you came from and if this is your children's first big transition.
  • Start making new memories. Venture into that strange world. Find a city map and mark the malls, favorite stores and restaurants. Note the parks and lakes on a regional map.
  • Your teens can contribute to this process by asking an acquaintance from school or church to come along as a guide. This may help them build new friendships, too.

While these ideas won't guarantee a perfect transition (which may take from 12 to 18 months), they will ease the discomfort and confusion that often accompany a move.

Answered byTim Sanford and Tim Geare
Copyright © 1999 Focus on the Family.

Background Information

Moving Blues
When you move, you pack more than just your stuff — your emotions often get put in boxes, too.

Questions and Answers

How can I get my children ready to handle a move to a new city?
Answer

Due to a job transfer, we are moving to a different region of the country. How can we "soften the blow" for our kids?
Answer

I have a 14-year-old who is depressed, angry and will only talk about our old home. How do I help her?
Answer

Our 17-year-old son says he won't move with the family. He wants to live with friends and graduate from the school he now attends. Should we let him stay?
Answer

Review Frequently Asked Questions

Stories

Moving For Him
I knew He loved me, but until I moved, I didn't know how much I needed His love.

Cherish, Not Cling
Deciphering what can be let go and what to hold on to is often a major step in moving on.

If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.
Share Your Story

Other Things to Consider

Where is God in the Midst of All My Troubles?
So many cry out to Him in times of need, but is God really listening? And, more important, does He care?

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