learning concerns

Question and Answer

My older child is a great student and earns straight A's year after year. Her younger sister, now in the sixth grade, is completely bored in school and won't even try. The frustrating thing is that the younger girl is probably brighter than her older sister. Why would she refuse to apply her ability like this?

There could be many reasons for her academic disinterest, but let me suggest the most probable explanation. Children will often refuse to compete when they think they are likely to place second instead of first. Therefore, a younger child may avoid challenging an older sibling in his area of greatest strength. If Son Number One is a great athlete, then Son Number Two may be more interested in collecting butterflies. If Daughter Number One is an accomplished pianist, then Daughter Number Two may be a boy-crazy goof-off.

This rule does not always hold true, of course, depending on the child's fear of failure and the way he estimates his chances of successful competition. If his confidence is high, he may blatantly wade into the territory owned by big brother, determined to do even better. However, the more typical response is to seek new areas of compensation that are not yet dominated by a family superstar.

If this explanation fits the behavior of your younger daughter, then it would be wise to accept something less than perfection from her school performance. Every child need not fit the same mold--nor can we force them to do so.

Background Information

To Each His Own
It’s normal for some kids to learn at a slower pace.

Types of Learning Difficulties
If you suspect your child may have a learning disability, parents need to be aware of the symptoms that prevent learning at school.

Questions and Answers

My six-year-old son is beginning to have learning problems in school because he can't stay in his seat and concentrate on his lessons. What should I do?
Answer

Is retention in the same grade ever advisable for a child who is not a late bloomer? How about the slow learner?
Answer

Review Frequently Asked Questions

Stories

A Reason to Hope
Poor grades at school, inattentiveness and a failure to complete tasks might have a cause you haven't thought of.

If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.
Share Your Story

Other Things to Consider

The Perfect Child
A little perfectionism goes a long way. Too much can be a real downer for kids.

TransitionsHaving a Baby, Preparing for Adolescence

Life PressuresWorking Moms, Stay-At-Home Moms, Time for Family

RelationshipsParents and Adult Children, Blended Families